Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
