My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
