i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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