He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
