The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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