People in love make me want to vomit
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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