I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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