i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
well you can't waste a boner
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
