how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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