you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
