I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
