i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
