Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You're like the curious george of whores
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
