You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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