Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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