it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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