holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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