i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
