I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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