I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You're earring is so big in my mouth
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize