YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
