Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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