Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
