Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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