I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
