Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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