Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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