weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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