If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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