She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
high people should be assigned attendants
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
