Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
