Sponge bath it is.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
