could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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