i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize