Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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