How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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