Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Damn victory sex feels great
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
