And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
