love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
