I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
