is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
