My nipple is on Facebook.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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