I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
