I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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