Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize