First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
And then he peed in my hair
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