Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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