You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
