The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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