Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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