it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
