Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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