im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
