Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
