I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
