She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
