No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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