i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
