soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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