i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
