theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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