I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
